Validate Yourself, and the Whole World Will Follow

Start celebrating your accomplishments NOW… don’t wait, because there is much to celebrate!
It’s about embracing the journey, the process… it’s not about the destination.
One thing I’ve been working on this year is saying more positive thoughts about myself, acknowledging myself more, and my accomplishments, and where I *am* showing up in my life!  Because truth be told, we can be our own worse critics ~ harder on ourselves than even others are.
What our world looks like around us, our relationships, and how people test you, are a reflection on how you view and treat yourself.  I’ve learned that it always comes back down to you; it’s really not about anyone else.
So one BIG thing I’ve been working on is validation, especially as a writer.  Not being published or picked up ‘yet’…  notice I say that word, “yet.”  That’s critical, because I know it will happen.  What’s frustrating is that a lot of times you’re not validated by people around you, sometimes friends or family, and society.  They say things like, “It’s not a real paying job!” One I get that drives me bonkers is, “You don’t work; What you do is just a hobby.”   Oh you bet your a** I do!  No, it’s actually my career path.  It’s just all still behind the scenes.  The audience/my future fans just haven’t seen my final results, ‘yet.’  There’s that word again.  So, it’s time for me to start validating myself more.  I don’t need to wait to celebrate or for anyone else to see it, because my accomplishments are NOW, and I’ve realized they’re worth recognizing!
I’ve worked extremely hard ~  years, hours, minutes of my life of writing, critiquing, revising, querying, submitting, rejections, conferences, workshops, doors opening, doors closing, and starting the process all over again.  I just do it for myself, I work for me, no one else.  There’s no one else telling me I have to do this or I’m fired!  It’s all my own self-dedication, perseverance, and determination.  To me, that’s even more challenging, because I am my own coach.  Why do I do it?  Besides the fact that I must be crazy? LOL!  Because I’m passionate at what I do, and I love love to write, express myself, and story-tell.  My family is one part of my heart, my passion for writing, is my other.  Plus, I know the payoff will be bigger and better when it all comes to fruition.
So, why am I even saying this (writing this)?  Because one life lesson I learned recently is… you don’t need anyone else to ever validate you. Validate yourself and the whole world will follow.  So, that’s what I’m doing.  Maybe someone else is going through something similar and by me writing this I can tell them, “I see your hard work.  I validate you.  It will pay off!  Don’t. Give. Up!”  It’s nice to hear that from time to time from other people.  But, it’s even better when we say to ourselves, “What we have is good.  I am good enough.  I’ve worked hard for this!  What I do matters, because I matter, and I’m worth it!  Plus, everyone else I know is always talking about their work, why can’t I talk about mine?  I’m owning it now!  I write.  I share stories.  That’s what I do.  I’m saying this here (to you) as I say all these things to myself as well.  I am human.  I am flawed ~ just like everyone else.  We are all in the same boat.  It’s important to remind ourselves of that from time to time.  No!  Scratch that.  Everyday!  It’s important, if not, more important, to say that to ourselves rather than wait on someone else to say it to us.  Truth be told, if you wait for someone else to validate you, you may be holding your breath for a very long time.
So, some people don’t even know, I wrote two children’s books (a humorous chapter book; fantasy MG) and a screenplay.  All of which took me many years, each individually, separately, of course, but while still crossing paths.
“Black Hand” (my screenplay) is based on the true story about my great-grandparents in the early 1900’s.  It’s an incredible true story!  Better than fiction.  It’s a time period, love-story with the Black Hand society (mafia) as the back-drop.  Our log-line: Black Hand is a gangster romance drama based on a true story about a young Italian couple living in New Jersey in 1917 trying to keep their marriage together after murder and deception rip their families apart as seen through the eyes of their modern day descendants.
It took my writing partner and I every Sunday for about 4 years (on and off to finish this), and we still continue to work on it.  We have had it in the hands of many big-time producers and studios.  We almost had our “big break” a couple times.  However, it fell through the cracks on more than one occasion.  Wasn’t meant to be yet (there’s that word again); it wasn’t in the right hands.  Doors opened, and as fast, they slammed (break out the ROCKY score)!  But they keep on opening, and I believe in my heart of hearts our time is coming.  We’re so close.  So close that just recently I saw on IMDB that my all time favorite actor, Leonardo DiCaprio (same last name), signed up for a movie in 2018 called, what other than, “The Black Hand” —  different story line, but same title and many similarities.  Coincidence?  Oh!  I don’t believe in those.  That’s a better word for, signs that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.  It only goes to show me one thing… We had the title and script done first (2011), and we have something special, we are on to something BIG!  The bigger it is, the bigger your challenges will be.  Anything that’s meant to be successful will challenge you.  It’s those challenging moments that give you the stamina you need to keep pushing forward.  “Pressure is what makes diamonds, and sh*t fertilizes blossoming flowers”… remember that.  I heard that recently in a Chris Rock stand-up.  Loved it!  Had to quote it.
It’s always right before that moment you’re ready to  give up, that the miracle happens!  It takes hard work, diligence, perseverance, never giving up, but most of all, believing in yourself.
Everything happens for a reason… Divine timing!✨
My writing partner, father, and I are onto something, and you better believe we are getting this movie made.  Same title or not.  Because today and from here on out, I’m validating it (myself).  It is worth recognizing.  It’s one of my great accomplishments and I’m proud of it, and proud to shout it out!!!
I will come out ahead.  I am already a success.  Movie made or not, books published or not, I will never have regrets because I can always say I gave it my all!!!  Lastly, I hope that by living my own dream and journey and never giving up, I can inspire someone else to live out theirs and do the same.
Validate yourself, and the whole world will follow.
 #ibelieve #nevergiveup #amwriting #validate

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