Every year I like to write a birthday note/blog about where I am in my life.

This year is a BIG one… 4-0!!!

Go BIG or GO HOME, right? Right! That’s why I chose to roll into 40 like a BOSS!!! So, roll with me, my peeps…

What do I mean? I mean I own my life… I am my OWN BOSS! I steer my own ship. I am the author of my own life. NO… ONE… ELSE.

Let’s break that down. It means that self-love and self-worth are not only important, they are the MOST important things! It dictates every other area of your life and how those parts operate. Self-love and self-worth are not to be mistaken as self-ish. Women need to start doing more of both for themselves, because we mistake taking care of ourselves – or doting – over ourselves as considered to be just that. I’m here to tell you… it’s NOT! Not only is it not, but it’s self-less. Because when you take care of yourself and love yourself first, you have enough for ALL those you LOVE around you. Remember… oxygen mask on your face first before your own children. If the matriarch of the family crumbles, everything underneath of her will fall apart as well, just like a domino effect.

I choose to go into forty with a lot of self-love and care. That requires many things, including: not burning the candle at both ends, saying no more often, only doing or spending time on that and with those that are worth it and matter, ridding myself of toxic people (amazingly enough, there are NONE of those around me anymore; all gone; bye bye), doing things that bring me joy, finding adventure, traveling, being in the moment, health, nutrition, working out, spending a lot of time with family and friends, pampering and spoiling myself anytime I need it (because I work damn hard, and I deserve it), etc… the list goes on and on. You get my point, right? This is just “my own” personal list. It may be different for you, and that’s okay. As long as you’re loving and caring for YOU and owning your life the way you want… just like a BOSS!!!

For me, it also means finding what it IS that I do LOVE about myself (not what I don’t). Finding what I appreciate, what I’m grateful for, and what I do have (not what’s lacking). I’m going to acknowledge and appreciate those AMAZING qualities about myself and CELEBRATE those!!! Why wait for the perfect moment? There is never going to be a perfect moment. It’s NOW, because life is happening in this very moment. That is why it’s called the present. So here they are…

  • I know I’m not the same, toned, size 4 I was in my twenties. My hips and booty are bigger… well, everything on my body has gotten bigger, to be honest. But what has my body done for me? I’m proud that it’s gotten me through two bouts of fertility treatments of IUI, two of which failed, and two of which lead me to two pregnancies and my two beautiful children. My body has also been through one surprise pregnancy and miscarriage, and two surgeries. These experiences have molded me into the strong woman I am now. I’m proud that my body grew beautifully for my two children and carried them through. I’m grateful that when I was pregnant with my son during a full-term placenta previa, I still delivered a healthy, baby boy at thirty-seven weeks. I’m proud of it through many sleepless nights and breastfeeding both children.
  • I’m proud that I am a dedicated, giving, self-less wife of thirteen years (twenty together), and that I give everything I have to make a successful, happy marriage. I’m grateful that I’m doing life with a healthy man – inside and out – who’s my soulmate and best friend. However, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. We work on it every day as a team. But I’m proud that I picked a man who gives me the world, wants me to be happy, and allows me to be ME.
  • I’m proud that I am a hard-working, yet loving, caring and dedicated mother who gives my children every ounce of my love and absolute best every single day. Parenthood is the most challenging job in the world, yet the most rewarding. I’m so proud of myself for raising a child on the spectrum of autism with patience and courage, wisdom and knowledge, and I am giving absolutely everything I have within myself to give him the best life possible and doing it every day. Not to say I’m not scared, but I still take the time to educate myself about it. Not only that… I don’t allow his diagnosis to limit him, nor will I allow anyone else to either. If your energy isn’t positive around my son, you’re out! That’s the world I’ve created for him and my daughter – only a world of love and encouragement. I didn’t say I don’t discipline or guide, I just have failed if I ever have made my children feel like they’re not good enough. That’s not an option for me.
  • I’m also proud of the daughter, sister, and friend I am. My mouth and use of words can be my biggest curse if I’m not careful, but it has also been a BIG blessing when I use it as a gift, because I’m constantly telling people how much I love them, how much they mean to me, and how amazing they are; I do it in a way that can make people feel like they’re the most special person in the world too. I’m proud that I point out people’s worth and compliment them, and I don’t criticize or judge. It also helps me be a great communicator! In addition, I follow through with my actions by showing them how much they mean to me. My loyalty and giving of myself to them prove it to be so. I’ve never given up on anyone. If someone is no longer a part of my life, it’s because they proved to me that my life did not matter to them or they gave up on me. I set boundaries because I love myself. However, I don’t give up on my family and true friends… EVER! I am proud of my level of integrity and honesty as a human being, not to mention that I care, have a heart of gold and compassion, and I give back whenever I can possibly help it to a worthy person or cause in need.
  • Lastly, I am so proud of what I’ve accomplished in my career. Years and years of writing, practicing, revising, critiquing, etc… I wrote and finished three children’s books and a screenplay. I’ve managed on my own to get two of the three books published (without an agent). Let’s not forget the years and years of rejections of submitting. I still am getting many rejections on projects, but I’ve never let that get in my way! So, I’m proud of my level of discipline, persistence and tenacity. I have not let the word, “no,” stop me from my dreams. I also haven’t allowed anyone else to dictate my destiny based on their own opinions or perceptions of me or my passion. Nor have I let what other people think of me get in my way from continuing to be me. I don’t care what people think anymore, because I know who I am and what I bring to the table. If they don’t like it, it’s their loss and has no barrier over my life whatsoever. Today and every day, I am celebrating my accomplishment as a human being on this earth for forty years and becoming a published author and that the fact that I’ve never given up on either!!!

We don’t need anyone else to point out where we’re wonderful, we’ve got all the power within, and that’s another important lesson I know now going into forty. If you don’t LOVE yourself, then no none else can. It also makes for a longer, healthier, more prosperous and abundant life! Come on, do it with me… let’s join in together to love ourselves more. Point out where you’re great, not where you lack. Then we’ll have so much more to BESTOW upon the world. Let’s all be our very own BOSSES!!!:-))