

Autistic individuals are here to teach us that they will not conform to society’s standards of the way they live. They’re here to show us how to conform to their way of living, whether we like it or not. In all honesty, they don’t care about what we think. We care about what we think. And in that, there’s freedom in conformity and ego. The hardest thing for us to separate for us as human beings ~ our soul, which is in its pure essence, from the ego. Autistic individuals are already living in their purest essence, which is in total alignment to our Source. Therefore, they’re showing us our own truest essence, and how to demonstrate to us that difference — that separation. So, by not changing or fixing them, we’re fixing us. We’re fixing our approach to their way. They’re imperfectly perfect, and there’s nothing about any special needs individual that needs to be fixed. All they need is love and acceptance. But the biggest lesson is them actually showing us what we need to accept and fix about ourselves.
What if we changed our thought process — our perspective? Instead of asking, “How can we make it better for them to fit into what we believe is a normal life?” Maybe we ask ourselves this, “How can we make it more comfortable for us to fit inside their normal lives?” I mean, what the heck is normal anyway? No one I know is. Is it getting a college education, getting married, having children, being successful, having the picture-perfect house or car? Nothing wrong with any of that, by the way. I’m just sayin’! I mean, who defines this? What if their souls are coming onto our planet — more and more — in large numbers to change us? Because they are “changing” us. What if it’s to raise our frequency to theirs, and not the other way around? Maybe they’re not meant to be ‘normal’. Maybe they’re here to teach us: patience, understanding, unconditional love, how to be in a moment, freedom. Freedom from what? You may ask. From our own self-absorbent egos… how we look, what we make, what others think, who we vote for, etc… Because truth be told, they don’t care about any of that. They just are. And God forbid that is our life’s purpose…to just be…to not accomplish any accolades, awards, or trophies or be the most successful person on the block with the biggest house. To be the all-time, talented sport’s jock. The next best lawyer or doctor. What if they are here to just be? To simply change the world by existing in their purest, most natural form. God made us all different for a reason. So, wouldn’t these individuals have theirs? Of course, they do! So, why does society always feel the need to control it for them, or to change the course of their destiny? What if the only answer on how to respond to their so-called condition, “autism,” is to just be loved and accepted? That’s it! Would that be so bad? Isn’t that what we all strive for anyway? What if their main purpose is to remind us that’s all that really matters? Wouldn’t that be enough? It should be. Maybe next time you run into a parent with an autistic child you don’t make a recommendation for them on how to fix or make it better for their child or themselves. Maybe you mean well, yes. But, maybe you’re insulting them because it translates to, “Your child isn’t good enough as is, so let me assist in making them a better human being! Or you haven’t thought about that yet as a parent? What are you some kind of idiot?” Trust me. We have. Before you. Wouldn’t you be insulted if it was your so-called ‘normal’ kid? I mean, if the parent asks for your advice, then by all means, go for it and give it ALL away! But if I had to guess, they’re not. Because most of them have thought about ten-hundred times more things for their own child than you could have ever imagined! So, we’re not asking…unless we are “really” asking. Most of the time, it’s unwanted advice and not needed. However, this is what a parent of an autistic child wants to hear. I know because I am one. “Hey, you’re doing a great job! But, if you ever need anything or any recommendations, I have some good ones, and I’m here for you. How can I help?” Offer, but don’t push. Then, allow them the decency to ask on their own terms. It’s not personal. That parent of an autistic child has one thousand thoughts, ideas, plans, solutions, hopes, cares, work ahead, therapy, schooling, you name it, etc…on their brains. The last thing they need is an unsolicited suggestion about how playing outside and socializing with other kids can help them tremendously, changing their diets can fix their gut issues, or therapy works wonders! Duh!!! We know, and it’s not always that simple. I’m just trying to save you from the ignorance. I’m not meaning your intentions aren’t coming from a good place; They usually are. But, we’re not raising lab rats. We’re raising children, just like you are.
The rainbow’s symbolism is hope. The storm always passes. The sun eventually comes out, and you have to get through the rain to see the rainbow. The rainbow is the symbol for autism. So, wouldn’t the symbolism for autism be hope? Incase you forgot the true meaning of the word, let me refresh your memory. “Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes in ones’s life or the world at large.” If you ask me, that’s exactly what they’re here to teach. Couldn’t be a more “perfect” plan or individual made from God; God doesn’t make mistakes. But God doesn’t create free will. We do, and so does the soul. So, respect these individuals’ decision to come here as they are, while we have the free will to reposed to them as we choose. Choose wisely. Put yourself in their shoes. Would they judge you? So, who’s the one who needs to conform? They’ve already mastered it! They are the true teachers. We are their students. Not the other way around. Like it or not. It is what it is. If it makes you uncomfortable that you can’t control or fix them, then you’re the one who needs fixing. On that last note, if your intention is to love, guide, care for, accept, acknowledge, embrace, spend time with, get to know, and encourage them, then thank you and you’ve learned their lesson.
FEAR
Let me tell you a little story about FEAR (aka F-E-A-R ~ False. Evidence. Appearing. Real)
Let me set the stage for you first…
FADE IN
When I graduated from Florida International University in Broadcast Journalism school in 2003, I was so excited about getting a job in TV. I loved script writing, and the live excitement of being in front of a camera. I also have always been a huge movie buff and can remember movie lines like flash cards in my mind. To this day, I love words and storytelling, and I know that writing is where I’m meant to be. However, as time went on, I realized more and more that it wasn’t my love for journalism as much as it was my love for writing fiction and telling a story the way I wanted to tell it. Also, I didn’t want to stay subjective and write a story about someone else’s tragedy or trauma; I didn’t want to depress the world anymore, I wanted to uplift the world, and take them out of reality – not put them more into a somber one. That’s where my love for fantasy writing stepped in. But before I even get into that story, which is for a different day, I want to tell you how I turned into a screenwriter…
Let’s rewind a minute here. Let’s go back to the word I mentioned earlier, FEAR. So shortly after graduation and the job hunting in broadcast journalism became a bust, I dreamt of writing a movie – a screenplay. But how? I already had the exact story in my mind, an animal-talking inspired one with all the furry friends ~ my pets ~ who’ve I had at some point during my life! Basically, an animation feature. So, I pick up this book, “Screenplay: Writing the Picture,” by Robin U. Russin and William Missouri Downs from Barnes & Noble (no Amazon then, peeps)!
With a cup of coffee in hand, ready to learn and write, with anticipation and excitement in my mind and heart, I read these sentences, “It’s a sad fact, but after all the months of brain-wracking effort that went into writing, most screenplays submitted get rejected.” Also, “Improper format is the surest way to get your script tossed in the rejection pile.” That’s all it took for me to see, and I was already done before I even started. I shelved the book for years where it collected dust, and I never wrote that story as a screenplay. First, I was like, “I don’t know how to write a screenplay, it’s for sure getting tossed in the rejection pile. What am I even doing? I don’t stand a chance!” That fear was enough to strip away at my dreams! But halt… not entirely. That is not the end. In fact, it was just the beginning of my writing career… and lots and lots of rejections to come!!! But, not no success.
So, there it is… a long story short. I was too afraid to write the screenplay. But that story was inside of me still. I decided to write it as a children’s book instead, and I did. I named it, MURPHY: THE PHAT CAT, a 19,000 humorous animal-talking chapter book, which started my journey as a published children’s book author. I put the screenwriting out of my mind… until. Until a movie producer (fatefully), walked into my life and an opportunity for another screenplay crossed my path. This one is a true story about my Italian great-grandparents, set in 1917. There’s historical written record about it, and how the Black Hand Society and murder, revenge and love affected their lives and future generations to come. Well, what do you think I did? You guessed it, probably. With more confidence than five years prior, I took that “Screenplay: Writing the Picture”, book back out. I dusted it off, and I wrote my first ever screenplay. It took me and my co-writer, Richard Sorin, about two full years from start to finish. We named it MANO NERA – a 129-page drama feature. Not to mention, we’ve revised it over the years, time and time again, and I am so unbelievably proud of this project! We really worked hard and passionately on it.
Now, let’s fast forward to today…two finished screenplays later, one in the works, and three finished children’s books (two of which have been published), and lots of years of tears and rejections, I haven’t quit. I’ve been going ever since. Has FEAR peeped it’s ugly head back in? Of course, it has… a lot! However, this time around, I haven’t allowed it to get in my way of giving up on my writing dreams. There’s still a lot of uncertainty and ups and downs. There are still rejections!! But, if I would have given up, I wouldn’t currently be an official selection and winner in nine different film festivals. I mean… NINE and counting… for both of my scripts combined. Who knows what’s to come? But if I had to bet, my movie(s) are – it’s just a matter of divine timing, persistence, never allowing anyone to tell you “no,” and/or allowing FEAR to stand in your way! Remember, it’s just false evidence appearing real. It’s not real. The only thing that’s real is the thoughts you tell yourself. There’s no one ever getting in your way other than YOU! Anything is possible if you set your mind to it, then there’s no telling what can happen! Shoot for the stars – the sky is the limit. And it’s okay if that little monster FEAR steps in on occasion… it’s normal. It’s a part of life and being human. Just befriend him. He’s a reminder that if it didn’t scare you, it won’t change you. If it’s not scaring you, then you’re not dreaming big enough! So, go dream BIG, and when your monster FEAR is screaming at you in your nightmares, “You can’t do it, you’re not good enough!” Know you’re exactly where you should be. Because it’s the fear that’s afraid of your light and how great and unstoppable you can become. Oh, and one more thing…TRUST over FEAR. Trust that everything is unfolding for you exactly how it’s meant to. MURPHY was meant to be a children’s book, and I was meant to pursue that road first. It taught and gave me so much more than I could’ve ever imagined, even friends. All those roadblocks and setbacks and doors closed for me, only led me to the path I was meant to journey on. Also, I’m blessed to do both – books and screenplays. I really do LOVE both! No two people’s paths are the same, so never compare. Not even FEAR can keep you from accomplishing what you’re meant to do. Live your dreams, unapologetically, pursue your passions, and you’d be surprised how the universe will open itself up to you. Allow it to surprise you! Look at FEAR in the face, and just say to him, “Oh, you again! Can you please step aside? You’re in my way.” Keep ROCKIN’ on, peeps! It isn’t over until it’s over. Just never give up!
And if you need proof… just look below. The proof is in the pudding!
FADE OUT
New Year’s Note 2021~2022
“If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”
Every year, around the new year, I write a blog, reflecting on the past year – and I kind of pick a theme. This past year, I feel like, “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!” At least, that’s what it felt like for me. It was one of the most challenging years for me personally and for my family, however, there were some awesome, fantastic moments as well! 2021 was kind of like a bipolar year – very high highs and very low lows.
It led me to this theory, though, which kind of feels a lot less heavy, in a way. Life has a very funny way of working itself out if we just let it and TRUST. Why are we so reluctant to having faith in the process? If life really does always work out for us. Even if we’re feeling in the moment like it isn’t. When we take some time, and step aside from it, and reflect…look back…go inward…stop moving so fast all the time, we will see the picture a lot more clearly. Like, “Oh, yeah, even though, I didn’t want that job to end, friendship, change of residence, or whatever change or evolvement we’re going through, then we look back at it, and realize it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to us. For example, how the pandemic has made us see what and who is important to us, and what deserved our energy. Because isn’t it so precious? Our time really becomes a gift the older we get. I always say, “Pick and choose your battles wisely.” I feel that this last year and 2020 made us realize that health and well-being is of the upmost importance, because without it, we don’t have much. And without those around us that we love, we don’t have much. Cherish and be grateful for every healthy day on this beautiful planet Earth that we’ve been given. Love ourselves and our home. It may not seem like it, but for all the bad news we’re reading and seeing every day, there are a billion more good ones that aren’t being covered. There are good people doing good deeds every day that we don’t know or hear about. Don’t focus on what everyone else is doing or what their opinions are about you and your life, focus on what matters – under your own roof. Make that better, make your wellbeing a priority, focus on that and those that matter most. Change that, and the world around us will slowly start changing. Everyone is always focused outward, but the only place to be focused, or that matters, is inward. Then, and only then, everything (including relationships) will transform and manifest around us. Believe me or not? The bad times definitely show you who is really there for you. True colors shine! So, if they walked away, they were never really your friend to begin with. You may even have noticed that the only reason you had a relationship with them to begin with was because you were the only one who put in the effort. So, them washing out of your life was what it is – a cleansing – a blessing. No more negative energy focused there. Remember? Your energy is precious. Pick and choose it wisely.
Let me end it and leave this here… “Life keeps moving on, and we’ve got to just keep on moving with it.” If we go with the flow, and give up the resistance, and surrender to it, we will be pleasantly surprised about what it has in store for us. But, if fear is the driving force, or control, resistance builds, and we can’t allow those gifts in. Stop thinking you have all the answers all the time. Surprise yourself with the beliefs of how much this or that sucks, or judgements based on how everyone else is living their life, and solely focus on how this is changing you, transforming you, and making you and everything else better. Those who can “go with the flow” and evolve, will. Those you can’t, won’t. But it’s up to the soul; it’s not up to you. Let it go! Live. Don’t be so afraid all the time or worry about every little thing! Embrace the change. Surrender. Be in the moment. Appreciate those and that you have in your life, and more good will come in. What you give your focus on only grows bigger. So, keep staying focused on the positive ones, because there is far more positive than negative. Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone. Everyone has their challenges… EVERYONE!!! Go outside your own problems occasionally and reach out to someone else who is having a tougher time. Because someone else is always worse off and needs it more than you. Always. But whatever it is, this too shall pass. Remember, go with it. Let it flow; let it go! Trust. You will triumph, and overcome it…life will keep moving on, and you will go right with it. Right into 2022…like, “Okay, I got this!” Because you do, you’re still here, and you’re only getting stronger.
God bless you all! Stay healthy, happy and well, everyone!!!
New Year’s Eve Note
Your friends…your choices…your vote…is a mirror reflection of you.
Do you like what you see?
Your actions have a reaction. Everything is an energy — a karma — that comes back around. The cards are being shown for exactly what they are. This is the time to decide and make good decisions. Our future depends on it!
If this guy was your friend, would you like him? Would you dine with him? Would you vote for him? Do you like what you see? Think about it. What kind of moral character does this man possess? The proof is in the pudding. “If you live by the sword, then you die by the sword.”
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I have this new really cool friend~ he’s a charismatic guy with a huge EGO!! He really is a moron, but at least he “acts“ and does what he says he’s gonna do! Well, wait? Not always. But, still. He’s really rich and an entertainer, you know? Loves power and being on top!! Umm, but he does lack class, compassion, morals and common decency! You know? All the wonderful qualities that make a person a great, decent human being. However, I still feel he could be a great leader! I mean, his only downfall is, are rather, he mocks intellectually disabled individuals, grabs women by the p*ussy because he can, and rips children away from their mommy and daddy, he tends to bring out white supremacy and hate, and laughs and takes people dying from COVID lightly, etc…But other than that? Real great guy! He cares about people. Well, wait? Raping a thirteen-year-old girl is still in question. And other than his wife because he cheated on her, and doesn’t seem to like black people or Mexicans that much. I mean, he is trying to build a wall around them from us. Yeah, not so much…now that I think about it. Hmm?
Wait, that’s not true. He loves his wife and she loves and respects him. I can see it when he tries to hold her hand and she flirtatiously pushes it away. What a stinker! She plays hard to get with him.
So, I can tell you that you may be offended by him if you’re disabled, have a child who’s disabled, are a woman, have a little girl, have children, are an immigrant, are black, or aren’t a white male, or have COVID or someone you know dying of it…No biggie, though!!! That’s just a few minority, unimportant people. He’s loves rich, white people!!! So that’s all that matters!!!
I mean, who cares, right? As long as you’re not affected. You’d sit with him at a dinner table, having cocktails with this narcissistic buddy and laugh at those who unfriended this, I’m untouchable douche bag! However, only if you’re rich and he saved you on your taxes! So let’s not hope you can’t afford it, because if you can’t, he’ll still force you to pick up the tab!?
But, screw all that!!! This really, really cool guy wants to make America great again!! I say we vote him as our country’s leader. Yeah, let’s do it!!! Because I agree, it was great…you know? Before 2016. Wait, hold on… that was before I met him.
When America was actually enjoyable, peaceful, safe, and a “great” place to live! #proofisinthepudding
41st Birthday Blog
FOCUS
On September 24, 2020, I turn 41-years-old! How do I feel? Well, this past year (2020) from 40-41 has definitely been one of many ups and downs. So many challenges, emotions, changes, growth, lessons, tests, leaving myself feeling very tired and overwhelmed at times. Not always knowing if I’m making the right decisions for myself and my family — living every day moment to moment, sometimes with so much uncertainty and fear. However, I can also say it has brought along with it many blessings as well. But, I’ll get to that in a bit. I can say that I haven’t turned my energy over to the world, politically, globally, morally, etc…because the world doesn’t get me. I get me! I have to get myself. I have to get a hold on what I do everyday. I have to take care of myself, my household, my husband and my children. These are my responsibilities, my vows, and where my energy belongs. I have to keep us all in balance. It doesn’t belong to worry or fixing the problems of the world. At least, not mine. So, it’s funny that 2020 has made us “focus” on what’s most important. And I can say what it’s forced me to see what’s most important…my overall well-being. Everyday, I wake up and ask myself, “How are you feeling today? How are you blessed? What are you grateful for? What’s working for you? What isn’t working for you?” I read, I meditate (on occasion), I journal, and I PAY ATTENTION to my emotions and thoughts. I can’t control what’s going on in the world or what others are choosing to do with their lives. Sure, I can care. I do care! I can pray. I can help in any way that I can offer, but I can’t control it. So, why give over my worry, my stress, my concern over it? Where does that leave me? Does it help it? Of course not! The only thing that does is empty out your energy fuel, so there’s nothing left for yourself. That’s when you get sick and your “chi” energy gets blocked causing “dis-ease” or disease in the body. So, this year my focus is going to be on just that…”focus” on myself — my well-being, because that IS what I can control. It also makes me a better wife, mother and/or friend.
Let me show you what that looks like for me. It may look differently for everybody.
On that note, I said earlier that this year has been challenging, but it has also brought in some BIG blessings along the way. It’s given me the gift to be able to focus on my health and well-being, which is a good thing, and that of my children. Some amazing things have come out of it, like my son on the spectrum of autism getting the therapy services he needed, and having some huge breakthroughs, even starting to talk. We’ve saved and invested and made some pretty great financial gains and decisions. We’re healthy and conscious about what we eat and put in our mouths. My husband and I have had to lean on each other more than ever before, and it’s made us even stronger as a couple! Yes, we still drive each other crazy, but we still are crazy in love. It has shown me that…21-years-strong!!! Some great career opportunities have come into our existences that wouldn’t have otherwise, if it weren’t for the pandemic and social distancing. That’s a plus! Planet Mother Earth had some healing and rejuvenating time. Animals we’ve never even seen before came out from hiding, etc…and we learned that we’re all in this together. #OneLove
Last but not least, I stopped watching the news completely. Awe! Breath of fresh air. Trust me, I’m still completely up-to-date with what’s going on in the world. How can I not be? I don’t live under a rock. It’s everywhere and it perpetuates nothing but drama, anxiety and fear. It’s awful for your mental well-being! And I could give a flying “f” on your political views! Stop pushing them on me. My family and closet friends are super divided, and I hear both ends constantly over and over and over again! Blah, blah, blah (not to mention the views on social media). I can’t anymore! I put my hand up to it (the stop sign). Boundaries. And I don’t care who gets mad at me for it. No more here, please and thank you. That’s my right. They are yours! I don’t push mine on anyone else, nor do I judge you for your right to decide for yourself. If I did, I would be no better than the other political party for judging me on my decision. I will not speak publicly about who I vote for and why, because truth be told, it wouldn’t change your perspective anyway. It’s wasted energy that I don’t have an ounce of “give a shit” in my body to address. But I do have energy to go out and vote! And so do you, so just vote and shut up already, please!! Make the right decisions for you and your family because it’s the right one for you in your heart. Go with your own instinct! That’s the beauty of America and the privilege that we all have here — color, race, gender, religion, etc… — the the right to vote!!! Also, make a decision that doesn’t come from a self-centered place. Be an adult and use your knocker! If it could hurt or expose another individual to harm, then chances are it’s wrong. It’s not rocket science, it’s common decency, compassion and humanity. Think of your intention behind the action. Use class and integrity. That’s a world we can all share. That’s all I’m going to say for now about that. Peace. Stay well and safe out there, and “focused” on what is most important. But most importantly, don’t let anyone else steer you off of your course and your focus. It’s your right and place here on the planet. I know it’s mine, and this year, I’m claiming it!
41 is gonna be fun, fun, fun…without losing my focus, of course, and what matters most to me!!!;-)) Because it’s my life, and I can make it look any way I want. So, let’s get started…First, time to celebrate it. Celebrate this gift of life and all the blessings and abundance that is ours for the taking. What are we waiting for!?! Let’s get it, together <3 XOXO