“I don’t know why God gave me a special needs’ sister and then a special needs’ son, but I guess that must mean I’m pretty special myself! So, don’t pity me, praise me.”🌈
S. Caprio-Negret
Lately, going through what I have been with my sister and then still having to be a mom to a son on the spectrum of autism, I’ve been thinking a lot more lately about the reasons ~ their purpose and mine. And it’s hard to say, but I can tell you from just them existing, they’re a blessing. They’re changing lives. They’ve changed mine. They’re inspirations to many! They’ve been better teachers to me than I could ever be to them, and the gifts they’ve given me along the way are priceless and pure unconditional love. Not many people can say they’ve experienced it, and I can say with them, I have experienced it double. “Why?” you may ask. Because their souls are PURE to their truest core. That’s unconditional. They don’t know it, and they don’t judge themselves or anyone. They live in the NOW! They don’t care about the things we stress over. It’s not to say their lives haven’t come with challenges. They’ve come with many, but the blessings outweigh them. On days I don’t know what to do, somehow God guides me and gives me strength that I didn’t know I had in me. “You’ve got this! I’ve got you!” I hear in my soul.
I remember the day I received Enzo’s autism diagnosis. I felt like a black hole was going to swallow me up. It didn’t. I lived through it. And literally the day after, a huge rainbow appeared over my house. No joke. “Hope,” was the message. Crying, I called a dear friend of mine and asked, “Why me?” I’ve already grown up with a sister with special needs. It’s not fair! I should be exempt from this.” And I really felt that way, because never in a million years did I ever feel I would have to worry about my child being there. It wasn’t happening twice and to my immediate family. And she responded, exactly, “Why not you?” You’re the perfect person who knows how to handle this. Enzo was born into the perfect, special family who has all the heart, love, and resources he’ll ever need. How amazing for him! Now he can be who he truly was meant to become.” Never have I ever forgot that and those words. They carry me through it…all…the…time.
So, if you’re a parent of a child with special needs, don’t ask yourself, “Why me?” anymore. Ask yourself, “Why not me?” I’m the perfect person to handle this situation. Because God only picks very special people to care for very special people. He knew what he was doing when he chose you ~ when he chose me and my family.
Our only mission is to not live for them, but to love them back unconditionally the same way they have for us. That’s their mission ~ their lesson. They’re asking us to accept their imperfections perfectly ~ to carry them through this life on a platform to give them the voice that they were meant to have without judgment. The voice may sound different. It may even be silent, but they speak wonders! We just have to listen with an open ear. Not tell them what they need to learn, but to listen to them about what it is that we need to learn. They’ve got the secret already. They’re the old souls; they’re the wise ones. We’re just the students.
PS. The last thing to ever say to a parent with a child with special needs when they tell you is, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Never apologize to them for God’s unconditional gift of love, that’s an insult. I know you mean well, but that’s sending the message of, “I’m sorry your child is not perfect.” When in fact, they absolutely are! Don’t pity them, praise them.
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