A Soulmate💞

A Soulmate💞

What is a soulmate, one may ask? Well, most of us know. I see that word being thrown around and used lightly. A soulmate typically refers to a “romantic” partner but it doesn’t have to be. It can be a friend or family member as well. In my opinion, it’s a long-standing relationship where you feel a special connection like a “soul-connection” or this nagging like you’ve known the person your whole life or even in a past one.

However, there’s still lust or “love of your life” and it doesn’t necessarily mean it is. There’s also a misconception that a soulmate relationship is easy. They’re NOT!!! They are actually our most challenging, because they’re typically meant to show us big lessons and substance. They’re not the surfaced relationships that come in and out just to teach us something, or just for the fun, although they can be. But really, a true soulmate or soul connection is a lifer! A “ride or die”, some may even say.

How you know, how you really know when you’ve got yourself a “soulmate”? They don’t just love you when life is easy! They don’t just tell you what you want to hear just to appease you, they don’t buy your love, love bomb you, take you all around the world, etc… and then that qualifies ~ where it’s always fun and fantastical, hot, heavy and passionate! In the beginning, sure! Yes. It’s called the “honeymoon phase” for a reason. I’m not saying there’s not this undeniable, electric connection! There usually is. What I’m saying is that a soulmate shows doesn’t just tell. They show up everyday for you even when they don’t always want to or have it within themselves, because they put you first. They fight for you until the end, no matter what. Even when they don’t agree. They love you on your ugliest days. They don’t just love the best parts of you, they love ALL of you, even the parts they detest. They don’t just love you on the weekends when it’s fun and easier! They love you on Mondays when it’s mundane or mediocre, boring or hard! They don’t judge you. They try and understand you. Mainly, they never ever give up on you!

So, if you wanna know if someone in your life is a “soulmate” ~ see if they’re still there for the long haul! If they’ve loved you on your darkest days! If they love you when you asked them to or needed them to, and didn’t ever tell you, “I can’t be what you need me to be!” Because true lifers, soulmates, don’t make it about themselves. Maybe some days you can’t be what someone wants or needs you to be. Sometimes you even dislike them, but you never give up on them. Soulmates don’t give up on their soulmate. Ever.

A true soulmate is always adjusting themselves to compromise for you so they always have you in their life, because they can’t live without you in it. If they can, they’re not your soulmate. That’s okay if they’re not, not everyone is, but don’t give them that title unless they’ve truly earned it! You’ll know when it’s the real deal. It will never even be questioned. It won’t be easy, but it’ll (they) will be worth it. You don’t have to prove it to the rest of the world or push it down their throats. The proof is in the pudding! You also don’t have to tattoo them on your body for them to stick. Typically if these components are in the equation, they’re not the real deal! Everyday when you wake up and roll outta bed, they’ll be there in your life without question.

That’s a soulmate! Tread lightly with that term because lust is not love. Conveniency, control, and conditions aren’t love either. Neither is saying how much you love someone. I used to have someone always say, “I love you more,” after every, “I love you.” That person gave up on us. That proves nothing! Maybe they don’t even say it enough, but they show up everyday to show you. Lastly, they would never ask you to give up who you truly are for them. I’m not saying healthy boundaries or change isn’t necessary in growth during any relationship, but they don’t ask you to be someone you’re not. They don’t ask you to give up things and people you love. They should be loyal to a fault. You never have to question their character, heart, integrity, etc… a soulmate has got your back, and they will never stab you in it when you turn around. They are the ones protecting you, giving you sense of security, and when people are speaking badly of you when you’re not in the room, they’re there to stick up for you. They are always there rooting you on, even on their weakest days. They will give whatever they have up for you; they will go the distance.